It's monday, which means I'm back at work after an all too short weekend, during which I accomplished nothing. Which is actually what I set out to accomplish, so I accomplished everything! It was exhausting, I need another break.
44 days until Vegas (but who's counting).
Let's see what absured, humerous, or otherwise meaningless things did I encounter/do/watch/read about this weekend? Oh, I know. I went to the movies Friday night to see Next (good movie). It was playing in a very small theater and by the time we got in there it was about full, of all of twenty people. Three people had walked in right in front of us and they started up the isle. They got up an entire two steps and then stopped. They then proceeded to stand there for at least two full minutes debating on which of the five open seats to sit in. I thought I was going to have to yank the girl down the stairs and out of my way by her ponytail. Come on people...I talk to stupid people all day long, I don't need them blocking my way to a seat at the movie theater.
My next paragraph will be a real waste of time, both for myself and you, the reader. Good luck. I hate tomatos. It's taken me 21 years to learn how to spell the word definitely (is it right?). Fiber optics creep me out, not to mention that 99.89% of the time they're tacky. I don't like to stop doing things unless it's on a time that is a multiple of 5 (3:10, 4:25, 8:45) Multiples of 15 are actually the best. I don't like the word beverage or vehicle. It's a drink and a car. I have to add to subtract, I can't do 21 - 4 by counting backwards. Let's see, 4 + 6 is 10, 10 + 10 more is 20, + one more is 21, so the answer is 17. The sound of packing tape makes my skin crawl, I literally want to get up and yank the tape away from whoever is doing it and then hide the tape so they can never find it again. Not ever! I think I have the movie ticket for every movie I've seen at the theater in the past six or seven years. Not sure why. I'm not scared of ants, but I wish they'd all die. I'd love to know why in the past month or so older people have taken a liking to staring at me like I have purple polka-dot hair. The chair I sit in at work is squeaky and it about drives me up the wall. I don't like squeaky things, unless it's a mouse, and then it had better be doing all of its squeaking from inside a cage. I despise Sam's Club. Who wants to be in his stupid club anyway? It's the snobbiest club there is. They won't even let you in the stupid door unless you're in the club, and unless you need 42 pounds of bacon or 821 tires, it's just unnecessary. I have a pen fetish, I have more pens than I could possibly hope to use in a lifetime. If I see one I like, doesn't matter who you are, I'll probably ask if I can have it. I hardly ever resort to stealing! I think I have sensitive ears and tiny lungs. Too much loud noise really hurts my ears and makes me want to cover them with a pillow and I can't hold my breath very long, making me a rather sucky swimmer. I've taken to hitting the snooze button at least four times every morning, see my "about me" section to read why I don't think this is a problem. I used to know my times tables lighting fast, but since I don't tutor 4th graders anymore I'm not sure I could even get through all of them at all. Ringback tones are the stupidest thing invented. Why would I want to pay money for something I will never hear? Do all you people with ringback tones call yourselves often? And as someone who makes a lot of phone calls, I really hate them because 9.5 times out of 10, the music is something I can't stand and I have to suffer through it. Only one hour and seven minutes until I'm off work. Hope no one at work discovers this blog or I'll get fired. What do you call a cow with no legs?....Ground beef! That one cracked me up yesterday, it's still a little funny. It makes me mad that everything these days is written in english and spanish, what kind of a message are we sending by that? "Don't worry about learning our language, we'll do all the hard work and translate everything for you. (Then we'll charge more to cover translation costs)." I want to go to Mexico and see everything in english! Don't rent the movie Resurrected...it's all in Japanese. How can you watch a movie when you're busy reading the plot down at the bottom? Isn't it funny how now when you call someone if they're on the other line a voice comes on and tells you the line is busy? Wasn't the continuous beeping noise good enough? Were people just not getting it anymore? One hour.
I'm going to find some other way to pass the last hour...maybe even with a little work. Oh geez, i think I just called the Beverly Hillbillies.
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